Tiger Beer Investigation
To: Tiger Beer (Asia)
Date: July 23rd 2010
Subject: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Dear Tiger,
I am typing this email whilst sporting a black eye, cut lip, grazed elbow and a slightly swollen left testicle. Not to mention the fact that thanks to this hangover of epic proportions every keystroke I make sounds like a firework going off on National Day Parade.
I have no idea how my injuries happened but as last night was the first time I have imbibed Tiger Beer in my life I am laying the blame firmly at your door. Just what in the name of Ian St John do you folk put in that stuff? Are the rumours true about formaldehyde being an ingredient in Tiger Beer? I can expressly state that in my current condition the last thing I need is being preserved through embalming. I feel so bad I want to end it, not prolong it.
I remember arriving at the club with my friend Muhd and our girlfriends. Neither Muhd or my girlfriend are talking to me today however Muhd's girlfriend, Nada, seems to be noticeably more friendly and attentive towards me for some reason. She's also walking funny but perhaps that is the fault of her high heels last night.
I have never had a hangover in my life and most certainly have never woken up with no recollection of the night before. Please help me sort this out by:
Many thanks
To: Tiger Beer (Asia)
Date: July 25th 2010
Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Thank you for your reply Elena.
Unfortunately my questions have not been answered and my condition has worsened somewhat. Due to not making it in a timely manner to the bathroom earlier (I didn't know whether to use the kitchen sink or the toilet thanks to my body being undecisive in it's chosen method to expell your company's product. In the end it decided both ways were the optimal method), I have decided to position myself permanently here for fear of a repeat accident.
Along with answering my initial questions can you also provide me with the name of the internationally renowned external auditor please? I would like to speak with them too.
Many thanks
To: Tiger Beer (Asia)
Date: July 26th 2010
Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Dear Elena,
We were at The Shed nightclub in Glasgow. I think my first Tiger beer was around 11pm - I can't remember anything after it. We tagged along with a group of amateur rugby players who showed a keen interest in me and Muhd. I think this was due to us being foreign. Scottish hospitality took over and they refused to let us pay for any drinks so we don't have receipts. Also, my experiences in the UK have shown that nightclubs do not offer receipts for beverages.
The people present were me, Muhd, Nada and my now ex-girlfriend, Jeslyn. We live in rented student accommodation in Glasgow and my contact number is a UK pre-paid mobile phone on the O2 network. Due to previous experiences I'm anxious about giving out such sensitive information. Of course, if it is vital to the investigation, and I am satisfied by the explanation for this information to be provided, I will do so.
Thank you
Sadly no email has been forthcoming from their UK office
Date: July 23rd 2010
Subject: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Dear Tiger,
I am typing this email whilst sporting a black eye, cut lip, grazed elbow and a slightly swollen left testicle. Not to mention the fact that thanks to this hangover of epic proportions every keystroke I make sounds like a firework going off on National Day Parade.
I have no idea how my injuries happened but as last night was the first time I have imbibed Tiger Beer in my life I am laying the blame firmly at your door. Just what in the name of Ian St John do you folk put in that stuff? Are the rumours true about formaldehyde being an ingredient in Tiger Beer? I can expressly state that in my current condition the last thing I need is being preserved through embalming. I feel so bad I want to end it, not prolong it.
I remember arriving at the club with my friend Muhd and our girlfriends. Neither Muhd or my girlfriend are talking to me today however Muhd's girlfriend, Nada, seems to be noticeably more friendly and attentive towards me for some reason. She's also walking funny but perhaps that is the fault of her high heels last night.
I have never had a hangover in my life and most certainly have never woken up with no recollection of the night before. Please help me sort this out by:
- Explaining what exactly happens to the brain when someone drinks Tiger Beer
- Advising of any natural known antidote to Tiger Beer
Many thanks
| To: electromuff.co.uk Date: July 24th 2010 Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent Dear electromuff.co.uk, Thank you for your email. With regard to your query below, we would like to assure you that at Asia Pacific Breweries Singapore, we adhere to the strictest quality checks and controls with each step of our brewing process. Multiple tests are also done consistently to specifically ensure the safety and quality of all our beers. Our brewery is ISO 9001/14000 certified, and our quality management system is accredited by an internationally renowned external auditor for world-class beer quality and freshness. For further queries and feedback, please do not hesitate to contact our customer service at 6860 3272 or email us customer.service@apb.com.sg. We thank you once again and wish you well. Regards, Elena Chan Corporate Communications Asia Pacific Breweries |
To: Tiger Beer (Asia)
Date: July 25th 2010
Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Thank you for your reply Elena.
Unfortunately my questions have not been answered and my condition has worsened somewhat. Due to not making it in a timely manner to the bathroom earlier (I didn't know whether to use the kitchen sink or the toilet thanks to my body being undecisive in it's chosen method to expell your company's product. In the end it decided both ways were the optimal method), I have decided to position myself permanently here for fear of a repeat accident.
Along with answering my initial questions can you also provide me with the name of the internationally renowned external auditor please? I would like to speak with them too.
Many thanks
| To: electromuff.co.uk Date: July 26th 2010 Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent Dear electromuff.co.uk, Thank you for your reply. Meanwhile, for purposes of our investigation, could you provide us with the following details:
Thank you. Kind Regards, Elena Chan Corporate Communications Asia Pacific Breweries |
To: Tiger Beer (Asia)
Date: July 26th 2010
Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent
Dear Elena,
We were at The Shed nightclub in Glasgow. I think my first Tiger beer was around 11pm - I can't remember anything after it. We tagged along with a group of amateur rugby players who showed a keen interest in me and Muhd. I think this was due to us being foreign. Scottish hospitality took over and they refused to let us pay for any drinks so we don't have receipts. Also, my experiences in the UK have shown that nightclubs do not offer receipts for beverages.
The people present were me, Muhd, Nada and my now ex-girlfriend, Jeslyn. We live in rented student accommodation in Glasgow and my contact number is a UK pre-paid mobile phone on the O2 network. Due to previous experiences I'm anxious about giving out such sensitive information. Of course, if it is vital to the investigation, and I am satisfied by the explanation for this information to be provided, I will do so.
Thank you
| To: electromuff.co.uk Date: July 27th 2010 Subject: RE: Your Beer Is Causing Me Some Discontent Dear electromuff.co.uk, Thank you for your reply. I have forwarded your concern to our UK office. A member of our staff from there will be in touch with you very soon. Thank you. Kind Regards, Elena Chan Corporate Communications Asia Pacific Breweries |
Sadly no email has been forthcoming from their UK office